end of the world
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Takaya wants a break to be alone, but Naoe's ever prying eyes and presence won't let him breathe by himself. Not even after his death.


**Fandom: Mirage of Blaze  
Title: end of the world.  
Pairing: Naoe + Takaya  
Rating: PG  
Description: Takaya wants a break to be alone, but Naoe****'****s ever prying eyes and presence won****'****t let him breathe by himself. Not even after his death****.**

**Disclaimer: Mirage of Blaze isn****'****t mine, and ****"****uninvited****"**** is by Alanis Morisette.  
**  
Having been left behind, he drove around to certain spots in order to capture the spirit of someone who would never stand in front of him with those overconfident eyes and elegant smile.

As he stood on there with the darkness drowning even that of the ocean before him, he took out a cigarette to remember days that would never come back.

And a sad verse would repeat in his head to simplify everything he went through:

"Like any uncharted territory  
I must seem greatly intriguing  
You speak of my love like  
You have experienced love like mine before  
But this is not allowed  
You're uninvited  
An unfortunate slight."

The human heart is always waiting…

…waiting until the Earth takes its last breath to end its suffering and shows mercy to its pitiful subjects.

**end of the world.  
By miyamoto yui  
**  
"And this is the end of the world."

As the young man with the white, short-sleeve blouse puts his hands on his hips while observing the sun setting over the horizon, he begins to laugh quietly to himself. It is not one of amusement, however. It is one laughed out of mockery, shame and bitterness. Having not been able to evade the cool and collected man behind him, he just stood there looking onto the changing orange colors.

But it seemed as if even the sky couldn't decide what to do with itself since half of it was still bright with blue that was turning into purple and seeping into red and yellow. The evening was approaching just as quickly as it had left the previous day.

It never seemed to end. Instead of living from sun to sun, they lived on from moody moon to inconsistent moon, choosing periodically of when it should make its appearance. Just like the man whose gaze didn't leave his back, never deviating to watch the beautiful, deteriorating scene before them.

The young man could feel the stare as if the man himself had been pushing hard onto his skin with his insistent, hot fingers, burning with a passion that didn't seem to wane as the centuries eternally passed by.

Everything was blocked out. They could only hear each other's breathing even though the crashing of the waves tried to drown out the tension that extended to however far their eyes could touch with their gaze.  
But the cold water was there.

It touched the boy's feet as his shoes stood beside the man in the suit, who had just taken out a cigarette to start smoking. But his eyes never left their target.

Now, which person he wanted to talk to, he couldn't distinguish.

And the boy could feel the inner confusion going on inside of the man's thoughts. He wanted to turn around and say something to him. But he didn't know if he wanted him to go away or to come closer to him. And so, he was left to outwardly act neutral to the situation before them.

Taking a drag of his cigarette, he took one step closer towards the boy, but the boy could hear the voice becoming slightly louder. He took one step farther and the water was touching his ankles and the ends of his jeans.

"When you don't tell anyone where you are, you get everyone worried," the man in the suit said as he took a deep breath, still searching into the boy's body and the soul of his master.

"I find it funny that you can't even say my name, Naoe," the boy answered with a sad smile reaching his lips. The stoic, angered face changed into one of regret. "Besides, everyone's worried about Kagetora, not me."

His piercing eyes searched the coast around them. There were no other people. He had chosen this beach for that particular purpose. If he wanted to be alone, he wanted to be completely alone.

His plan had failed, though.

Even though he knew better than to ponder about everything at the same time, it was the only thing that he knew what to do best. Whether it was in this lifetime or the last ones, he was the same in the sense that everything had to be thoroughly thought through so that he could take the most advantageous route.

But now, where had that all gone? Was he making the "right" decision?

And the person who always seemed to follow him wherever he went was of no help. He made his feelings more complicated than they were supposed to be.

Rather than aiding him towards the place he was walking towards, he appeared as if to keep coming to the same spot over and over again. There was only a false sense of movement the more lifetimes and bodies he lived through.

Nothing ever seemed to change.

This was the same beach he had passed by once a long time ago.

Time only slightly changed things, but it was man that brought about radical "innovations" that only helped to make the path to destruction more apparent and quicker.

"That's not true," Naoe answered as he dropped his cigarette to the sand and tried to crush it under his shoe.

He himself didn't know what he was going towards anymore. The only thing he knew was that he had to desperately grasp onto the very little he had left. He only wanted to hold onto Kagetora, Takaya, or whoever his beloved would become…

He didn't care for anything else. And the sacrifices didn't matter either.

Whether it was a woman between them, rank, his own heart…

it didn't matter as long as he didn't give up.

As long as no one else would have him, then he would be satisfied with his Kagetora's adored hell.

"Can't I just breathe for a couple of hours by myself or do you have to follow everything I do?" the boy suddenly said in slight annoyance. The indecisiveness between both of their beings and souls was murdering him.

It wasn't killing him and it wasn't just a slaughter.

He was learning the full meaning of massacre, and it hurt more than being betrayed or fending off enemy troops. At least in those times, there were distinct lines of what he wanted and needed.

But now, he couldn't tell anything apart.

And the enemy wasn't someone trying to take over his territory. It was _that_ man and himself.

"I have to make sure that you're safe," Naoe replied as he took another step towards him.

It seemed ironic. There were the shoes he was walking away from, as if the invisible Kagetora was watching him squirm in his pain filled with such smiles of amusement. There was the boy before him, waiting for him to give him a straight answer as to how to proceed with life, if this was still called "life". What _could_ the boy call this if he was caught between the past and future?

Certainly, this couldn't be counted and named as the "present".

The boy took several steps forward and now the water was touching his knees. His back still faced the man as he desperately tried to capture the memory of the wonderful sunset in his eyes.

The man took a hold of his hand and the boy turned halfway to watch him indignantly, pulling in protest. "You tell me you protect me, but you're the one who's threatening my life the most, Naoe."

Naoe looked into those eyes in front of him. They fluctuated from menacing to innocent and hurt. He watched them deeply as the boy stared at him, debating on what to do about everything.  
_  
/Kill him__.__  
Protect him__._

_Make up your damn mind__.__/  
_  
"If you only knew the depth of everything, then you wouldn't admonish me as you always do," Naoe finally answered with a tone that was half-harsh, half-pained.

"What more do I have to see or understand?" the boy retorted with menacing eyes, trying to rip out Naoe's heart with a single look.

The scathing voice said, "You have to…"

The boy's hand pulled away as a seductive expression entered into his eyes. His hands went up Naoe's sleeves, up his neck, and onto his cheeks.

But the boy's eyes became wide once more, filled with pity and comprehension. "…let go, Naoe."

Naoe's eyes slightly opened in shock. He still couldn't understand Kagetora's and Takaya's differing sides that seemed to be as multi-faceted as the moon in its phases. Yet, he was trying to break and comprehend all of them as they were both learning to come together in several different kinds of eclipses.

"I can't. I don't want to…" Naoe stubbornly said as his hands gently held onto the boy's elbows.

The boy's expression changed. In a glimpse, Naoe had seen a softer side of Kagetora as he begged in a prideful tone, "Then, when will I ever be free?"

The boy still held onto Naoe's face, trying to figure himself out through those eyes that always watched him in between their gaze.

Looking straight into his eyes, the boy stated with a heavy heart, "_This_ is the end of the world."

Then, he let go of Naoe as he turned away from him and started to walk away. "Many hundreds of years ago, you told me that the strength of the heart and mind meant that one had to believe in the path that one chooses. Even if it seems that you'll be lonely on that journey, you should be prepared to live for it, rather than die."

The boy turned around with tears in his eyes. Naoe couldn't tell if he was talking for both himself and Kagetora or for Kagetora alone…

"That's why even though I was your master, I followed your advice. As proud as I was, I believed in those words, and until now, I'm trying to decipher the results of those words you spoke to me with such passion, determination and care."

"That's why I can't let you go…"

_/Let us follow one another, not for forgiveness, grace or mercy__…__  
As long as we__'__re together__.__/  
_  
Naoe walked over to boy and grabbed his arms, kissing him with all that he couldn't express in words:

"…I don't want to ever fail you, or myself."  
**  
+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/**

"I've always loved the ocean," Kagetora said as he stood upon a rock, watching the waves grab onto the wet rocks and wash back onto the sea. He smirked as he turned over to his right-hand man. "It feels like you can touch eternity."

The handsome man commented, "I've never known you to be so sentimental, Kagetora-sama."

Kagetora's eyes turned to watch the water below him. Then, he looked out onto the horizon.

They stood there until the moon came out to greet them with its light.

"May I have permission to ask you a question, Kagetora-sama?"  
"Yes?"  
"Do you think it's wrong to have everything you want? Maybe humans aren't meant to have everything that's before them and within their own imagination." The man looked up to the sky, wondering if there truly were gods that listened to their prayers and laughed at their foolishness.

Proudly, Kagetora said, "It depends on what you mean by 'everything', now doesn't it?"

He smiled beautifully and the man, who had never seen him do nothing but smirk in arrogance, was taken aback.  
In silence, he admired this man he stood next to. Not looking at the water at all, he stared at his master and nodded slightly. "I believe you are right, Kagetora-sama."

"I can't die without getting all I want."  
Still looking at him, the man answered, "Yes, me also."

_/I__'__ll make sure you'll get everything, Kagetora-sama__.__/  
_

The man looked away and his envious, jealous heart took over temporarily.

_/As long as I am with you.  
As long as our dreams coincide…  
_

_I will do__** everything**__ I must./  
_  
Kagetora then took out his flute and began to play a song that told the depths of his heart, soul, and mind that paralleled that of the dark ocean before them.

_/I have to get everything. For the sake of being given away__…_

_Even though I shouldn__'__t have such resentment towards my family who had done such a thing out of obligation and the rules of this society, I cannot help but feel that I was left behind._

_Not anymore. I shall come out first.  
No matter what, I must win._

_Above all, I must not lose myself to anyone._

_All I__'__ve had is myself and what I__'__ve believed in, isn__'__t that right?/_

He glanced at the handsome man who was now watching the ocean in front of them.

_/That isn__'__t true._

_He won__'__t let me believe in the one thing that__'__s kept me alive all these years, this aloneness that ate away from my flesh and I had to deal with it by myself._

_But I won__'__t give myself for anyone__'__s sake. For if I do, I will depend on them._

_I don__'__t want to be weak anymore__…_

_I am taking charge of my own life./  
_  
Cutting into his thoughts, the man next to him announced with sincerity, "I will try my best to help you achieve your dream, Kagetora-sama."

Touched, but trying not to let it show, he turned around conceitedly and said, "We'll see how far you go."

Annoyed, the man sighed with a smirk as he continued to watch the ocean. Quietly, he answered when Kagetora was out of listening range,

"The question is what _wouldn__'__t_ I do for you, Kagetora-sama?"

_/After all, a dream goes as far as you want it. It continues for as long as you reach for it with your bleeding hands.  
That is the essence of __"__aspiration__"__ and __"__ambition__"._

_Never letting go__…__  
…not even at the end of the world./_

**Owari. / The End.**

**Author****'****s note:** I went through another bout and watched the end of Mirage of Blaze all over again. God, I must really have something wrong with me if I keep on going for twisted love stories, but maybe not because I've been writing things of this nature since I was fifteen. Just now, I'm able to share my words with you, whomever you are. * smiles *

But maybe I think the fascination is that even though their love is so extreme, deep inside of everyone, there is a secret place in which this is their deepest wish. Then again, this is just my perception as a quiet observer of the world. And I present my findings to strangers and friends alike, hoping that someone will understand the broken pieces of my existence.

**August 19, 2004**


End file.
